“Funny” Customers

Example 1:

*DING DING DING* goes the alarm on my till notifying me that the price of whatever monumental grocery item the customer before me has chosen has also decided to not ring up.

“It must be free!” Said customer exerts with oversimplified enthusiasm.

Ha.

No. And you are the approximately the 784th customer to try that.

Example 2:

Here I am, just staring off into space, enjoying some peace and quiet, which doesn’t happen very often in a grocery store, I might add. This is the calm before the storm.

“You look bored, we can’t have you just standing there doing nothing, can we?!” a voice booms from just a few feet in front of me, rattling my every nerve.

Stop and pause sir, because that is where you are wrong.

Example 3:

Cue sun, cue cloudless sky, cue light breeze, cue work.

“Wow, it’s gorgeous out there! Bet you are pretty bummed about being stuck inside on a day like today!”

…Cue steam spraying from ears…

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